I don’t usually pay attenti0n to the mindless goings-on of “celebrities.” I find the idea of watching the antics on reality television incomprehensible and I think that anyone who gets their political opinions from the Twitter feed of someone who has performed a couple of woefully bad songs should be disenfranchised. If this makes me a snob then so be it but, in my defence, quite a few people were rather upset last year when our American friends elected a reality television “star” with no political or military experience to the highest office in the land.
David Beckham has always cultivated a “nice guy” image – a lot of people forget that he was Public Enemy #1 after his sending off at the 1998 World Cup. This image has always been a contrast to his multi-talentless wife, probably the most disliked person in the UK. However, this weekend’s papers are full of a bunch of hacked emails that show Beckham in a less than favourable light. He comes across as a typical entitled micro-celebrity, demanding business class flights and luxury accommodation for him and his “staff.” Beckham is also mean-spirited when he writes “Katherine Jenkins OBE for what? Singing at the rugby and going to see the troops plus admitting to taking coke? F****** joke.” I presume Beckham objects to his wife’s absurd OBE for her “charity links” on the same grounds.
But it’s the accusations that Beckham is using his charity work in a cynical attempt get a knighthood that is most damaging. Why Mr Beckham (not Sir David) do you and all you fellows “celebrities” set such store by the pathetic baubles of the so-called “Honours System”?
These honours are no such thing today, and I doubt that they ever have been. They are a mark of corruption, sycophancy to the powers that be, an award for longevity and a way to placate the plebs whilst keeping the majority these awards to the usual suspects. “Sir” Philip Green hasn’t lost his knighthood despite stealing hundreds of millions of pounds from the BHS pension fund. Fred Goodwin did lose his knighthood but hasn’t been pursued for the criminality that has cost the taxpayer billions. “Sir” Jimmy Savile – enough said. I’m sure you can think of numerous other examples so why do you want to join such revolting company Mr Beckham?
The absurdity of these titles is so easy to mock. Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Bath? Sounds like a superior type of plumber! And the female knights always make me think of Christopher Biggins in a panto.
What about the current trend for two-for-one honours? If you have won an Olympic gold medal you have proof positive that you are the top person in your area, you don’t need a further award from the Establishment. I’m talking to you, “Sir” Mo and “Dame” Jessica. It’s a glorified popularity contest – which is also the only explanation as to how “Sir” Andy Murray has won the BBC Sports Personality boreathon three times despite having no discernible personality.
A lot of people get these honours for longevity; there’s a campaign to get a knighthood for the last surviving Dambuster. Why? For outliving all his mates? And Ken Dodd (!) got a knighthood in the 2017 New Year Honours List. Dodd wasn’t funny in the 1970s, I didn’t even know he was still alive.
Written for the edification of the untitled proles by Sir Mike of WordPress (bt.)