Quote of the Day #7

The Simpsons


“Our students are highly-entitled wusses.”

The Simpsons has been one of my favourite television shows for nearly thirty years. The latest episode, The Caper Chase, was an absolutely brilliant parody of some of the antics at universities today. The quote comes from an exchange between Mr Burns and representatives of his alma mater, Yale.

Here’s the full exchange…

Mr. Burns- I’d like to endow a Department of Nuclear Plant Management.
Male Yale Representative- Wonderful. Of course we can’t do nuclear.
Female Yale Representative – Our students are highly-entitled wusses.
Male Yale Representative – You’d be creating a space for violence to happen. How about funding a chair in the non-narrative cinema of self-identified pansexuals?

At this point, a caption appears reading “Actual quote from Yale student.”

Mr. Burns- What? What? What? What? What?!
Female Yale Representative – We also need to hire more deans to decide which Halloween costumes are appropriate.
Male Yale Representative – Eight deans should do it.
Mr. Burns- (Sputters) Is this still a coven of capitalism where evil money can acquire a patina of virtue?
Male Yale Representative – Yes, that’s in our charter.
Female Yale Representative – But with an issue as hetero-patriarchal as nuclear power, we’ll have to hire multicultural empathizers, build a new safe space.
College Student- Not so fast. We insist on a chair of anti-nuclear studies and a nuclear-neutral curriculum pathway.
Male Yale Representative – Absolutely, Teddy. We run all decisions past the squash team.
College Student- Also the fencing team, water polo and Handsome Dan the mascot.
Mascot- (Goofy laughter)
Mr. Burns- Release me, you hound.
Mascot- (Goofy laughter) Oh, yeah.
Mr. Burns- What’s happened to this place? (Gasps) (Gasps) This was the home of ruthless media disruptor Samuel F.B. Morse. Who’s his successor? That fellow?
College Student- “Fellow”? That word is cis-gender-normative, okay? You’re worse than Hitler!
Mr. Burns- Too late for flattery. I’m not giving this school a dime.

In the video posted above, the student tells the professor be “be quiet” after he makes the astonishing (!) claim that “other people have rights too.” She also makes the bizarre statement that a university is “not about creating an intellectual space.” You simply cannot argue with someone like this. It will be interesting to see how the video comes back to haunt this lady when she is looking for a job.

Unlike some in the right-wing press, I don’t believe all students are like this. If universities are still like the two I attended in the late 1980s and early 1990s, then most students are interested in getting their work done, drinking heavily and chasing after members of the opposite sex (in reverse order of importance).


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